The role of a god mother

The role of a god mother – As written by someone that had one, needed her and then became one.

When a child is born it is important to their parents that they know that their child will be looked after, cared for and minded, in every situtation.

We all hope that we can live long enough to see our children safe into adulthood but sadly that is not always the case, so we look to our family and friends and seek out someone who we can trust to do this for us should anything unfortunate happen. On doing so we seek someone who we care about, someone who can show as much care and love to our children as we do ourselves, someone who can take on our own role should we not be able to fulfill this any longer.

On May 11th 1981 I was born into a loving family with 1 sister and 2 brothers, a mother and a father.

On August 22nd 1994 my mother passed away.

As a thirteen year old you have many questions in life, ranging from – why do boys not like me, why cant I go out, why cant I go play with my friends and finally – where is my mum???

On August 22nd 1994 I attended a christening with my mother in Clarenbridge, Co. Galway. It was a cousin of my mother’s who had a baby. Following the christening we drove home, most of the conversations were good until the thirteen year old introduced the questions “why does James have to move away”, “why cant they stay living next door”, followed by tears at the thoughts of losing ones beloved next door neighbour pal.

One would have thought that if this was the only upset to have in the day it may not have been too bad.

On arriving home I was asked if I would like to join my mother golfing (caddying). I declined thinking it may be better to stay home and hang out with my friends. And so off she went golfing and away we went to our laneway to while away our afternoon.

Later that day whilst playing cards with my friends in my next door neighbours house I was confronted at the door by my brother telling me I had to come home that something had happened.

On hopping the wall I noticed a few cars in our driveway and was promptly told to get in one belonging to someone I had recognised as a golfer. They proceeded to tell me that my mother was brought to hosptial and they were unsure what had happened. I pleaded on the way in that my mother was allergic to wasps and unless given insulin she could die. My pleads were unheard, mainly I suppose now because they knew my mother was not stung by a wasp.

We spent many hours in the hospital waiting, as a thirteen year old they dont do a good job of explaining what all the big words mean, intensive care to me back then meant, lots of  care been given and all was good. I was soon to be presented with a different scenario. It was when I saw my father and how he was coping and feeling that I knew things were not good.

Then in came my god mother, and without her knowing it, she made me feel safe again. Just having someone like your mother just made you feel safe.

That night my mother passed away, my god mother stayed in my house, in my bed with me all night, without her I would have felt so alone.

This my friends is one reason why being a god mother is so important.

I always had a great relationship with my god mother from when I was born right up to this day, a god mother cannot be someone that is a distant person but more someone that will always be a part of your life regardless of whether your mother is alive or not. A god mother is someone who should form a relationship with your child right from the beginning and never break that relationship.

I was asked to be the god mother of my best friends daughter nearly 5 years ago and did not take the decision lightly given all that I had previously experienced. I am the proud god mother of a going on 5 year old child and as long as I live I fully intend to be there for her as long as she needs me.

A god mother may not always be needed in the absence of a mother but as an extra layer of security knowing that there is more than one lady in the world that loves you just as much as your mother does.